Band 5
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
What knowledge and skills should universities provide has been argued for many years. Some people think that the true function of universities provide knowledge for their own purpose, but nowadays, more and more people point out that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills according to the workplace.
The first reason for universities should provide these knowledge and skill is the students’ needs. Obviously, the most of the students go to university purpose of is to get some knowledge and skills which could make them have the ability to get a job. If a university does not provide these knowledge and skills, the students might not get a job and they would be very disappointed. As a result, the university would lose its students.
Moreover, providing knowledge and skills needed in the workplace makes a university progress. The new skills and information always are initiated in the workplace, so focusing on the needs of the workplace the university could get sound strategies to do research and make it more modernization.
Lastly, providing these knowledge and skills could benefit our country which usually gives a financial support to universities. Having these knowledge and skills, students are more easy to get a job, and this can make our countries’ economy strong.
In conclusion, it can be said that providing the knowledge and skills which the workplace needs is every university’s basic function.
只能拿到5分的原因:
一、這個題目中有兩方的觀點:some 及others的,很明顯這位考生在后面的論證過程中完全忽視了others的觀點,都在一味地論證some 的觀點的正確性,于是考官給出的評語是:it does not address all parts of the question.
寫作建議NO.3:Do not neglect any part, or you will regret your mark.
不要忽視任何東西,否則你的分數(shù)會讓你很傷心。
二、這位考生在連接詞和復(fù)雜句型上都表現(xiàn)得不錯,可是他太偷懶了,knowledge and skill這個詞組一共用了9次,這種高頻率的repetition讓這位考生付出了比較慘重的代價,所以看者希望你們能夠汲取這樣的教訓(xùn),多注意Paraphrase的練習(xí)。尤其是常考的考試主題所可能涉及到的高頻單詞更是要做好homework. knowledge and skill就屬于top 3 的高頻考題的教育類,所以這類的詞匯一定是多多準備才對,如 expertise, conversance, instruction, competence, aptitude, technique, prowess, dexterity 都可以拿來替換這兩個詞。
寫作建議NO.4:Paraphrase helps you parachute into a higher band.
改寫能助你拿到高分。